my fashion diary.

Monday, April 30, 2018

Why You Should NOT Workout After 30+

Your friends have been lying to you. If you’re reading this, let's just call a spade a spade, they are all LIARS! So, since nobody's being honest in 2018-- I'll be the REAL friend you need. Are you 30yrs or older? Thinking of starting a new workout regime to get your body right for the summer? Read THIS first. When your finished, be a friend and SHARE!
First OFF. You will die. Don't do it. Especially if you have kids to get back to. They're more important than saggy gut meat, sis. Think about your son & walk away. Do it for Lil Saint... 
2. You can't breathe. Now let's just say you made it past number one, you still won't be able to breathe, sooo? You'll be all huffing & puffing, turning blue, and still trying to be cute. Now, that's just unattractive. Trying to be cute about not breathing can get you dead too. This is not what we mean by "puff, puff, pass". Get in the car and go home, Joanne.
3. Jerrod does not care if you have rolls. He still want you girl. If he really loves you, he will love you exactly the way you are. He ain't going nowhere. Where's he gonna go? YOU'RE THE CATCH! Relax. 

4. The pain after exercising is equivalent to being run over. By a truck. A garbage truck. Twice. You will regret it every morning for the next week. A week is a long time. Does your lace frontal glue last a week? See. You won't either, Janine. A week is a long time to hang in there. Just...don't even.

5. You already have a nice butt! Aren't you a nice person? Ok, well your butt is included in that too somewhere. So, BOOM. You're welcome!
6. You mad old. Your meat is already slipping off the bone. You have to think about your safety first. So, right. I hurt my ankle doing a dumb new dance with my 9 year old son right after a workout. (It was a battle. I won. Neither here nor...) The enemy is sneaky. He will creep up on you right in the middle of dancing to the devils music & throw your ankle out. He is always looking for a "foot-hole". Literally. But by the grace of the good Lord I only walked away with a sprained ankle. I could've had a hole in my foot. #ButGod

If you are still considering working out AFTER ALL OF THESE FACTS, "You got strength, Ma." *in the words of my Liberian best friend Mahdi* Number six was my last attempt at talking some sense into you. If my testimony didn't work-- nothing will. Do me this one favor though; Before you venture back to the gym--share this with your friends who work out & those that are thinking about it. Don't be a hater. Let them know the truth. LOL!! I too will be back at it this week cuz I gotta get it TIGHTTT for summer 2018!!! 


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